i’m so tired…

it feels like i have half formed ideas floating around. things i’ve thought before, but can’t grasp.

things i know that i need to figure out, but can’t.

things that i want to know but don’t

it’s hard

sometimes it’s overwhelming

right now is one of those times

i type my thoughts out here as a post but right now my thoughts aren’t even coherent enough for a sentence, much less a post

life is short make it count

and

you don’t have time

and

nothing lasts forever

maybe i’m just nihilistic tonight

or maybe i’m onto something

maybe there’s no rush and i need to live in the monent

or maybe this moment is all i have

am i running toward a gpal

or am i drowning in the expectations i have for myself

am i lonely

or

am i finding out who i truly am

am i losing the people i love

or am i making room for people who truly deserve my love

so many questions so many expectations so many things

i want to hide in my little bubble and sleep

i want to avoid the hard stuff

but i can’t, can i

i have to face it

not like a man

but as a human being who desperately needs to live

no more sad boi 2020

this is such a badly worded post it doesn’t even have punctuation

but this isn’t a post it’s an explanation it’s a confession

it’s a boy sitting in his room sorting through his emotions the only way he knows how

it’s a man sorting through his thoughts through words

it’s not a post, its not a blog

it never was

it’s a journey

thank you for coming along

6 thoughts on “i’m so tired…

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