why am i so tired?

It’s 10:21 pm and I don’t know what I’m doing.

That’s a common theme lately, and I don’t know why. (shocking, right)

I feel like I should know more, have more of a direction. I’m 17, after all, I’m literally almost an adult, and adults have it all together.

At least that’s what my brain says.

But I’ve figured out that my brain is a liar. I don’t listen to it anymore, except when it tells me it wants candy. That’s pretty much the only true thing it says anymore.

I operate some days with a huge fog over my head, usually in the figurative sense, though today I woke up and couldn’t even see outside my window. So. There’s that.

Some days I feel stuck in the past, reliving things that will never come back. Honestly, I don’t want them back. So why do I do it? I don’t know, yet again.

Some days I feel so future-focused the present is almost a daydream, when I’m really just daydreaming of things that will never happen in my life.

Why do I do it? Why do I go through the monotony? Why do I push through the depression, the anxiety, the anger, just to do it all over again the next day, the next week, the next month?

Why do I live life?

I don’t know yet. I don’t know my purpose, or my goals, or what I want to be when I grow up. But I’m determined to find out.

(also, the post image is mine. if you like it, check out my instagram @garrettaldred. i post my favorite pics that i took, and there are always more on the way. #shamelessplug)

22 thoughts on “why am i so tired?

      1. XD Half the time I’m just ready to grow up and start living life and the other half of the time I wish I could go back to age six when all I did was read and draw pictures constantly.

        Liked by 3 people

        1. Yes, girl! I totally feel the same! Thx to Mr. Garrett here, for helping me see I am NOT the only one! Props to you, Garrett! Maybe this is your purpose right here?

          Liked by 2 people

  1. With God’s help, I’m sure you’ll work this out! I’ve been tired lately as well — going through that teenage identity crisis, ahaha. All the best, my friend. (also I legitimately thought you were older than 17)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My best friend, Karrie reads your blog, and she loves it. This is my first post I’ve read, and WOW. you are amazing at this! you really know how people feel! I am glad I am not the only one!

    Liked by 2 people

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