This isn’t entirely linear, and I don’t entirely want to make it a “blog post” per se. I wrote this over two days as it came to me, so I may repeat myself. Take from this what you will, and enjoy.
I wanted this to be the start of a movement.
I wanted to encourage, to provoke thought, to essentially show off my best self. But I realized that you can’t get the good without mixing in the bad.
This blog was created as an extension of myself, but over time it became an extension of my “good” self. The good little Christian Garrett who encourages everyone and never has problems in life. That ain’t what’s happening behind the screen, kids. Sure, I’ll gladly encourage and support, I love listening and helping. Sure, I’m a good kid and a Christian, but I’m not immune to problems. This may be a platform but it’s not a stage. If I’m ever a public speaker, I’d ditch the stage and sit on the floor. It’s where I’m most comfortable, at eye level with everyone else. So from now on, I’m not going to restrict myself in topic or style. If you have expectations of me, ditch em. If you have expectations of what you’ll see when I post, throw them out. I’ll even provide the trash can.
If you have a problem with that, or with me, there’s a handy dandy contact page up in the menu. Use that, not the comment section, please. I don’t need your negativity on my site.
I purposely didn’t give this blog a niche when I started it. I knew that my subject matter would change, just as my inspiration evolves and changes.
NF’s “The Search” is incredibly relatable (as always) and super inspirational. I could write an entire post just based on that song, but one part of the song really stood out to me and was the catalyst for my hiatus. in the middle of the song the beat drops out and Nate raps this: “Yeah, the sales can rise/Doesn’t mean much though when your health declines”. Tying that into this blog, the sales (stats) were rising, really fast. It was intoxicating, especially in late May when my subscriber rate and stats shot through the roof. I began thinking about how I could manipulate my site, my social media, to continue bringing in the page views. That’s a complete turnaround from the perspective I started with, and not in a good way.
I’m a human on a journey. I’ll continue to grow, to change, and my blog will too. The way I post one month may be completely different the next. I might be super deep and spiritual one week, and the next I’ll talk about bouncy houses. (Not really but you get what i mean. Or…you should.)
You’re not going to find giveaways here, or fancy graphics trying to get you to do something. That’s just not how I roll. This isn’t a brand or a marketing device.
I’m not going to tame myself for the sake of looking good. That’s honestly as much of a reminder to myself as for you guys. I set out with a bold mindset, telling myself that I’ll be strong and honest and unfiltered. I didn’t realize that I would be shattered and molded multiple times, into something I hated to see in the mirror. I became more invested in the likes than the Lord. (That’s your cheesy sentence for the day by the way). I filtered and muffled myself for the sake of having more views, followers, likes, anything. I effectively sold out. This isn’t a search for pity or even a boast, like “Yo I messed up but I fixed it, look at me now”. It’s direct, unfiltered thoughts, straight from my brain. I’m telling it how I see it in an effort to show where I was, and how I’m going to/am changing. I’m not going to market myself, this isn’t a blog that’s going to vault to the top of Google searches. This isn’t going to be famous, and I’m okay with that.
Someone called this my ministry, and I kinda disagree. I’m not doing anything for you guys. I’m just typing letters that form words, that form sentences. Those sentences form paragraphs and those form a “blog post”. Then you guys read it and hopefully think about it. Maybe it’ll spur you to reimagine your faith. Maybe you’ll reprioritize your life. Maybe none of this will matter for you. All three of those options are okay with me. At the end of the day I’m just a boy writing for himself and for his Savior. That’s what matters. The rest is just extra.